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    遥望故人盼安好


            道听途说,她结婚了。不论真实,先恭喜了。

            毫无疑问,是我负了她。我没为她做过什么事,但当年交通极不便利时,她每个周末乘2个小时的公车到我家。我也没尽过男朋友的责任,我从不和她通电话。
            但,我希望你知道,有时,爱情,并不是付出多少,便得到多少。从我口中对你说,好像很残忍。但也希望你知道,我比你得不到我的爱更惨。
            你身旁那位应该和你很久了吧?他跟你那么多年,对你如此忍让(有时你的脾气是很难侍侯的),一直到今天,知道你心中多少尚有我,仍能对你百般宠爱,有时,未尝不是上天对你的补偿。而我,却在受罚着。
            我单纯,我还是觉得,未到30,或者某一个年龄,作为一个男人,他应该追求一段相爱的婚姻。绝大多数的情况,结果是零。但我还是努力着,得到那么一位我爱她她也爱我的伴我一生的爱人。除非到一天,上帝说,“ 你收皮啦!” 那么,我便停下来。

            另一位故人,我不知道故里,但我觉得,你应该是等我开口吧?说实在,我的心在很远很远,脑袋要为自己的事业不停地转着。我实在实在,分不下半点半点,与你尝试一起。因为我知道,我的心在很远很远。
            无论你发生何事,我会第一个站你身旁,但我真的分不下心来。我的心,给了别人。

            可能还有许多我负了的人,但你们不用后悔当初的决定。
            因为你们,所以,现在上帝惩罚我得不到我要的,无论是曾经拿在手里还是将在手里的,都一一给上天收了回去。因为你们,所以,我什么都没有,而你们,可能已经找到真正的另一半。即使虽不中,但起码身旁那位愿意奉献他们的所有给你们。可能你不喜欢这样的安排,但生活不会如此美好,有这个安排,已是一种幸福。

            而我,心已不在,哭不出声,因大海的那方,遥远得听不到我每晚的叹息、疑惑和哭诉。没人会知道,我在她面前是多么强作镇定而又潇洒的时候,心里是多么的痛苦。
            如果你们都活得比我好,我很开心。如果因为我而你们得到想依赖的人,我更开心。虽然我得不到我的,但我仍然希望你们安好。
            祝好!


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    Shifan Wuwrote:
    好坦诚哦。。洋少。。
    Nov. 8

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